“One chord is good, a second is alright, three is a crowd, four will end in a fight.” These words from ‘The Friends of the Buff Medway Fanciers Association’ perfectly summarise Thee Headcoats’ music. They offer a primal take on rhythm’n’blues, rock’n’roll and punk influenced by early Kinks, Pretty Things and, most importantly, The Downliners Sect. Unlike most groups whose sound is shaped by music from 60+ years ago, rather than being a mere retro tribute act they capture the fiery essence of the era giving the 12 ditties, ten of which are original compositions from vocalist and guitarist Billy Childish’, that comprise ‘The Sherlock Holmes Rhythm’n’Beat Vernacular’ a vibrant urgency. Their name and long player title both relate to drummer Bruce Brand’s penchant for deerstalker hats, mistakenly dubbed as Headcoats, and elementary powers of deduction lead to the Sherlock Holmes connection.
In tune with the spirit of the times, not a second should be wasted and none of the tracks trouble the four-minute mark, such length amounting to an act of heresy. There is no time or tolerance for guitar solos, on the plate is pure lean, mean cuisine. It is an LP that roars out of the speakers, aided by the use of some authentic equipment; The Elpico AC55 guitar amplifier, formerly belonging to The Ken Hollis Ballroom Orchestra, bought when guitar music became all the rage and then mothballed for 50 years, could be unleashing half a century of pent-up frustration. Setting off like a primed and focused Olympic champion sprinter, ‘And The Band Played Johnny B. Goode’ gets the blood pumping and it is followed by the 106 seconds of ‘If People Don’t Like It (It Must Be Good)’ which aptly describes their cussedness. Bowling in on Johnny ‘Tub’ Johnson’s groovesome bassline and decorated with guitar slashes, ‘The Goddess Tree’ drips with aggression.
Childish’s vocals on the aforementioned ‘The Friends of the Buff Medway Fanciers Association’ take on the tone of a venerable, distinguished gentleman, almost akin an early BBC continuity announcer and is peppered with old-fashioned language such as gentlemen and uptight squares. Incidentally, the Buff Medway is a local breed of chicken. As should now be apparent, Childish has a way with an attention-grabbing title, also apparent with ‘The Devil & God Entwined’, a number that illustrates that it is a toss-up between Lucifer and the garage rocker as to who has the best tunes. ‘Sally Sensation’ has some manic screams and ‘The Baby Who Mutilated Everybody’s Heart’ jumps in with an ‘All Day And All Of The Night’ style riff.
Of the two covers, Bo Diddley’s ‘Dearest Darling’ has the distinctive Diddley shuffle while Childish’s vocal is a Brillo pad abrasive howl. Slim Harpo’s ‘Got Love If You Want It’ leaps in with harmonica blowing and has a bluesy rumble to its guitar.
With its reference to a debased lifestyle (“your lips lopsided, your nose obtuse, 60 cigarettes a day and a bottle of cheap vermouth”), LP closer ‘Modern Terms of Abuse’ is a down dirty ditty. The song also appears on Thee Headcoatees’ ‘Man-Trap’, one of many links between the two releases as these Sisters of Suave have provided backing vocals on ‘The Sherlock Holmes Rhythm’n’Beat Vernacular’ while the chaps return the favour, acting as rhythm section on ‘Man-Trap’ for which Childish composed half of its fourteen cuts.
It kicks off with the first of two Ramones covers, ‘The KKK Took my Baby Away’ giving its huge chorus gabba gabba hey girl group vibes. Later, ‘He’s Gonna Kill That Girl’ mixes the original’s cartoon quality with a Shangri-Las like pathos. The title track together with ‘Signals of Love’ delivers Thee Headcoatees’ signature blend of garage guitar and aggressive melody in concise sub-two-minute blasts. ‘The Double Sax’ declares this as the age of the young and sophisticated, vocals taken by Holly Golightly who also delivers their version of ‘Modern Terms of Abuse’ which features James Taylor on Hammond organ. Lead vocals are shared throughout the album with the other band members, Ludella Black, Bongo Debbie and Kyra LaRubia, all getting at least a couple of turns.
Richard Moore’s strings give William Loveday’s ‘Becoming Unbecoming Me’ quite a pop sheen. Jagger and Richards’ ‘Paint It, Black’ is given a musically faithfully rendition with booming drums and, aptly, Black taking the vocal lead while the Headcoats hum menacingly in the background. LaRubia’s ragged voice and piercing screams together with twangy guitar gives Dead Moon’s ‘Walking On My Grave’ a particularly loose energy.
With its spoken introduction, cheers, laughter and rambunctious harmonies, ‘Jim Bowie’ gives the impression that everyone in the studio is having an absolute hoot. In contrast, the string ladened ‘Sex and Flies’ is downbeat but ‘I Can’t Find Pleasure’ is a garage stomper par excellence. ‘Man-Trap’ ends on a high with Fang’s hellraising ‘The Money Will Roll Right In’ with LaRubia’s delivery of lines about being able “to fuck Brooke Shields” and being “happy as a pig in shit” given a certain irony.
These two LPs make a great twin package. Even though their sounds are those of a bygone era, they magically capture the energy and exuberance of the 1960s when they would have been fresh and new. To quote again from ‘The Friends of the Buff Medway Fanciers Association’, this time its final words, it is absolutely splendid.
Thee Headcoats: The Sherlock Holmes Rhythm’n’Beat Vernacular and The Headcoatees: Man-Trap – Out 14 November 2025 (Damaged Goods)
Headcoats – And The Band Played Johnny B. Goode (Taken from forthcoming LP)
Headcoatees – He’s Gonna Kill That Girl (From Forthcoming album ‘Man-Trap)
I was editor of the long-running fanzine, Plane Truth, and have subsequently written for a number of publications. While the zine was known for championing the most angular independent sounds, performing in recent years with a community samba percussion band helped to broaden my tastes so that in 2021 I am far more likely to be celebrating an eclectic mix of sounds and enthusing about Made Kuti, Anthony Joseph, Little Simz and the Soul Jazz Cuban compilations as well as Pom Poko and Richard Dawson.
