It’s a mundane Monday, and the humdrum normality of everyday life is reaching out for some form of escapism. Seeking music as the solution, I, along with just over 2000 other people will congregate within the walls of Manchester Academy, where Rebecca Lucy Taylor (better known as Self Esteem) will perform for the third (sold-out) night in a row.
Lights dim to a flicker as the show begins. The pound of a drum reverberates within the confines of the room as the vibrations sink into your chest, immersing you with immediacy. An ensemble, wearing outfits to match A Complicated Woman’s album cover, form a line to span the stage, uttering the opening lines of “I Do and I Don’t Care,” with this gorgeously expansive harmony. Taylor joins the line with placement in the centre, of course, to the roar of the crowd. It feels divinely momentous despite us being six syllables into the whole show. The song’s soliloquy begins as Taylor shifts forward from the line. The crowd unite in saying every word, defining it as a mantra of relatability. It’s a sight to behold.
“Mother” comes along and rips through the trance conjured in the shows’ opening moments, beginning a brief section of unescapable energy. The pulse of a beat bounces off the walls as the dancers begin this choreography of chaos. Lights blink with rapidity as we move through “Lies” and “69” with little energy lost. It’s intense but in the best way as the theatre of the show is displayed. Motion and message lie within the foundation of each lyric and movement, forcing the evening to go from a mere Monday night gig to a performance of statement. Exploration of societal norms, personal integrity and sexuality is empowered through connected choreography and Taylor’s vocals.
Once again, the crowd convene to sing along with “You Forever” and its lyrical hook. It’s also an opportunity for us to catch our breath, away from the brutal intensity of what has gone before; my eyes could do with a brief relief away from the strobe lights. “Logic, Bitch!” is even more gentle in its approach, as Taylor stands alone on one side of the stage to deliver soft, haunting vocals. It’s a gorgeous moment enhanced by its simplicity (and a cameo from a banana, but I won’t give any more away.)
“Prioritise Pleasure” soars in with a particular highlight of its colossal chorus. The lyrics “I’m free” ring across the venue, intercepting brief moments of silence within the music. “Fucking Wizardry” is met with delight from the crowd. Euphoria enters as the whole room bursts into every lyric. It’s also an opportunity for Taylor’s lyrics to really shine, carrying this understated prowess which echoes on its own accord.
An acoustic guitar joins Taylor onstage for “The Curse,” a tale of relatability surrounding dependency on alcohol. It clearly resonates with the crowd, who have once again adopted the role of a choir. The lyrics “I wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work” cling to every corner with definition. It’s undoubtedly a highlight of the whole night.
The ensemble turn to face away from the crowd as lights pierce through to paint silhouettes. The pounding thud of a drum beat opens “In Plain Sight,” which is met with that crawling acoustic guitar. Taylor’s at the centre, confiding in gentle vocals. Moonchild Sanelly’s vocals join through a track and haunt with sentiment, and all is set up to focus on her words. All builds to an eruption towards the end of the song. Lights trickle, the ensemble returns with rhythm and the songs’ motif “won’t you let me be, I’ve always been free” are churned with an energy that sits somewhere between a plea and a scream.
“What Now” returns to those harmonies conjured in the very opening moments of the show. Fully a cappella, layering vocals guide the song. It feels entrancing and beautiful all at the same time. As chills seep through, I realise I’m not ready for the show to be over.
The bouncing electronic beats of “Cheers To Me,” offers atmospheric whiplash as we move from the harmonious to party. Shades of blue and pink cover as the stage demonstrates a blissful pop persona. The addition of two air dancers each set on opposite sides of the stage of course takes it all to another level.
Self Esteem photos by Leah SImons
“If Not Now, It’s Soon,” and “Focus Is Power” close the main section of the show with the might and roar the songs were intended to create. Both offer this spirit of momentum, exerting messages of belief and positivity which enter certainty and profundity within a live setting.
The encore begins with Taylor re-entering the stage alone. Soon joined by the ensemble, the spoken word doctrine of “I Do This All The Time” seeps in through crowd interaction. Taylor is speaking directly to us and means every word.
Closing the show, “The Deep Blue Okay” ties everything together. Everything which made the show a spectacle makes a reappearance in those final moments; those angelic harmonies, that sweeping atmosphere of those instrumentals and of course the power underlying within the songs’ lyrics. It’s the perfect way to wrap everything up.
“And I have my doubts, but know I’ll always work it out.”
As Taylor and her ensemble leave the stage, Shirley Bassey’s “This Is My Life” plays over the venue’s sound system. It’s a moment seeping in joy as clusters from within the crowd choose to stay and dance rather than leave to return home. No one is willing to leave. And I feel it perfectly sums up the evening as a whole. This was a spectacle and celebration of music, theatre and sentiment enjoyed by all who witnessed it. Taylor is a force to be reckoned with.
